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20th of October 2018

Men



Are You REALLY as Self Aware as You Think? - The Good Men Project

Self-awareness is a slippery bugger. Just when you think you’ve got life figured out, something comes along at galloping speed to throw you back in your place.

And man, that hurts!

But there are some things that, once mastered, will give you the coping skills for life. And the sooner you understand what it takes to be fully self-aware, the faster you’ll solve your problems and create an amazing life for yourself.

1. Instead Of Blaming Everyone and Everything Else, You Go Within Yourself

The answers are ALWAYS in you. You might get outside help to figure them out, but when things aren’t working out for you, 9/10 it’s because you’re choosing it.

This is a tough pill to swallow. It’s very convenient (and less emotionally taxing – at least for the short term) to blame everyone else for your situation.

But for as long as you let victimhood be your guide, you’ll struggle in life.

So you MUST go within.

The best advice I ever got was ‘blame yourself first’. A lot of people don’t like that terminology, it triggers them because the word has such negative connotations to it. But the fact is, if you DON’T blame yourself first … then who or what are you blaming instead?

On some level, whether you realize it or not (or like it or not), you created the reality you’re in … which is great news, because you can now create a new reality.

2. You’re Not Scrambling For Quick Fixes To Solve Your Problems

A lot of people live in delusionland around the length, time, workload or effort it requires to get what you want. I get dozens of men trying to get the ‘magic bullet’ answer out of me.

It doesn’t exist.

And the sooner you understand that there’s no quick fix to lasting change, the faster you’ll actually change.

Counterintuitive, I know.

I remember going to a Tony Robbins seminar … and I had in my head that after that weekend, my life would forever be changed. I’d meet ‘The One’, rake in millions of dollars, become a hot bodied goddess and have all of the trappings.

But most people just pay for the ‘nice little feeling in their stomach’. They’re in a delusion, thinking that they’ll have this thing just because they learned that thing.

Not the case.

If you want something, it’s highly likely that you’re not the unique snowflake who doesn’t have to do any legwork. Very rarely do things land in your lap, and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you’ll do the work required …

… and the sooner you’ll get what you want.

3. You Understand That Anything You Feel About Others Is Actually About You

That guy you’re judging for being successful with women? He’s showing up parts of you that you’re struggling with in yourself (jealousy, inadequacy, reminders of your lack of success with women). He’s mirroring back to you how you feel about YOU.

How?

Well if it triggers, it’s truth. So when you react emotionally to someone else, it’s because it resonates in some way, shape or form.

The problem with this behavior is that it blocks you from getting the very thing you want. You’re rejecting that behavior, so of course you’re not going to get the fruits of what that behavior can bring you.

4. You Cultivate Your Mind, Body and Soul

Someone who’s self-aware has daily systems, practices or rituals to keep them on track. They work diligently every day, knowing that these activities are bringing them closer to their goals.

The best way for you to achieve everything you want in life is to do the little activities every single day. Like bricks that build a house, you have to lay one at a time.

Then before you know it, your house appears and you’ve got what you wanted.

Self-awareness isn’t something you need to strive for. It’s already there … and you’ll always have blind spots.

But the fun part is working through those blind spots until you can see the possibilities laid out in front of you.

Ains 🙂

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Photo by Ioana Casapu on Unsplash

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